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Nillion's Journal ~ Part 2

Updated: Sep 2, 2023

Stjernedato 39, Vår Måne 5

Le Thalas Citadel, the Skygge Realm, midday

Classes have been remarkably enriching despite being so disjointed. Perhaps having mixed classes isn’t as bad as previously thought, we contribute an array of different perspectives on specific challenges. Telni has even begun to open up, revealing a prankster side. According to Sibyl, they resemble their brother, Lanasi, more than they’d care to admit. The least amused has been Jogniern, though I suppose he has the strongest reason for a swift graduation; a new babe, Ilinet, whom he has been watching grow up through the bitter letters of his wife. He was transparent about his distaste for the distance of the relocation separating them by a whole realm but maintained respect for the decision regardless of the personal impact. Unfortunately, his portal requests haven’t made it to the top of the pile, yet.

At this time there are no new developments on Zinul nor our local weirdo, Cazzouth. This entry is for dear Lanessa… We have not been able to stargaze lately as she has not been able to get any sleep or respite. She has been growing more fatigued as expected but it’s hard to tell whether mental or physical takes the crown. When she finally confided in me she gave me a signal ring, one of a set of two. Through these rings we can transmit,emotion-based messages with no proximity requirements. After a couple of days, we have been able to construct some conversations resembling verbal reciprocation through them… If that makes any sense?

Take this moment for example I am currently seated under our sweetest fruit tree in bloom while she is across the courtyard entertained by Cazzouth’s latest antics. He is currently fixated on the stones that hover above our Citadel’s spires. He is trying to physically scale the smooth and well-crafted courtyard walls for a closer look. If I am interpreting her messages effectively; she does admire his analytical fascinations and his direct approaches to seeking answers, but is mostly enthralled by him repeatedly falling on his rear. I try to send back a diluted and respectful appreciation for her enjoyment of his silliness today. Diluted in the sense that I don’t want to overwhelm her with how happy seeing her smile and laugh under any circumstances bring me. Even more so knowing what she is currently enduring. She responded with embarrassment… I might not have diluted enough. Perhaps that was simply too forward but she is still enjoying herself. That’s good.

Now that you, dear reader I am compelled to address and have a better understanding of how these rings can be used the next description of events will make more sense. I feel like without knowing about signal rings beforehand may cause the sequence of events to be confusing.

The frigid chill of the twilight season has mostly passed but the nights still carry a chill in the air. I was probably the last to turn in this last night save for our mysteriously consistent Sibyl. A sudden burst of anxiety came through the ring, but despite the burst, it was quite dull in volume compared to her normal levels. Did she mean to send it? With no response, I slowly stirred more awake in hopes of a clarification message. Then with the force of a hundred raging perrifurs- Terror, apprehension, absolute trepidation! I flew down the halls of the student quarters to her room to find it locked. By Sibyl's grace, this wasn’t a problem for long. She stepped out of the shadows with a finger to her lips and keys already out, soundlessly unlocking the door. I never did get an answer as to why or how she was there when we needed her- this is accurate to Sibyl’s known nature, I suppose.

Lanessa was curled up in a heap of sweat and tossed covers. She must have finally fallen asleep, but to what extent? She thrashed and mumbled and continued to toss and turn. Sibyl looked worried already so I allowed her to touch my signal ring. This nearly knocked her to the ground along with any air she had left in her aging lungs. We sat down and drank some water in hopes of gaining some clarity. We did, soul-wrenching loss trumpeted over everything else that was being presented. This became tainted with hints of fury or rage, followed shortly by a desire to enact vengeance so strong it made me salivate. Just the thought of such warranted satisfaction would probably make one giggle like a child if it wasn’t adorned with so much unabridged torment.

After a metaphorical spell of convincing Sibyl to let me gently wake her we finally got her to stir. I remained as gentle physically and signaled an invitation for her to take safety and comfort in me… She accepted and poured anguish out of every fiber as she sobbed into my arms till the wee dawn hours. Out of exhaustion, we all managed a short rest at some point with our vigilant Sibyl guarding us. At some point in the morning, she left and returned with two morning meal servings and extra juice.

My dear Lanessa, while I am curious about the contents of such a horrific dream; I dare not encroach on your wishes. Just know I will always be a safe harbor for you in such storms. I feel I do not need to communicate this across our spring-happy courtyard… But, perhaps, it is time we tell Cazzouth there is a balcony specific to spire access and maintenance. Not yet? As you wish.

¯ ¯ ¯

Stjernedato 41, Vår Måne 7

Le Thalas Citadel, the Skygge Realm, evening

Lanessa continues to be plagued by nightmares and sleeplessness. Sibyl managed to bring in a Healer who specialized in the ailments of one’s mind. Unfortunately, this has meant my eviction from her side while she gets magically induced rest and care. I’ve turned to my studies to busy myself. Our classmates also seem concerned after her but in a more detached and curious way.

I’m afraid my lack of experience on the Path of Memory is showing at such an inconvenient time… Lanessa is far more forgiving of this than I am. When one is plagued by nightmares, they are often unresolved memories of our own or that we are in contact with by external means such as scrying. Only the most mentally fit can superimpose their desires and will on dream states. All of our dreams for that matter are flashes and excerpts of our memories, sometimes whole chapters, the tiniest portions blown up into immense unregulated detail. Or sometimes more long-term events bundle into a new interpretation we haven’t quite figured out yet. Even though it is not often one dream in the night consecutively save for reoccurring nightmares… Namely, unresolved memories forcing themselves to consciousness.

Inquiring with Lanessa on this yielded honest yet expected answers. We did not think she has ever been subjected to such atrocities. The nightmares must also be memories per their consistency and vividity. Her perspectives within them sometimes shift but the facts always remain the same. While Lanessa fell into another induced slumber I filled Sibyl in on our suspicions but she shushed me before I started asking questions. It must not get out what is happening to her and that we are to only say she is ill.

So, we ponder the question; If these memories are not hers, whose are they? And how is she experiencing them so profoundly? We must get to the bottom of this… For her.

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